遺棄에서 自殺까지 ― 明末淸初 柳如是의 수치심을 중심으로

Abstract

In this article, while focusing on Liu Rushi’s experience of abandonment, her sense of shame, of being forsaken by lovers, her obsessions, delusions of persecution, and her eventual suicide, the formation of and the effects of Liu Rushi’s sense of shame are discussed. Being abandoned in childhood, she had developed a low self-esteem, and humiliation was deeply ingrained into her self-image. This deep-rooted sense of shame about resulted in her developing the mind-set of a perfectionist and that of a heroic figure constantly seeking approval from others of her existence and self-worth through her display of a character of the highest integrity and righteousness. At the age of 18, Liu Rushi lived with her lover, Chen Zilong, for about a half year; however, after her relationship with him broke up due to the hindrance of his legitimate wife, she was traumatized by the experience and believed herself forsaken by the whole world. She then suffered from a delusion of persecution, and this mired in her feelings of regret and loss for about six years. During those years, heavily bogged by a sense of alienation, she was unable to face reality and began to suffer from insomnia and depression. After the passing away of her husband, Qian Qianyi, who had lived with her for 25 years, she was viciously cursed and maligned by his relatives. This humiliating experience brought out the deeply repressed sense of shame from her sub-consciousness, and her low self-esteem left her no choice but to commit suicide.