내재화된 수치심에 대한 목회상담학적 고찰: 치료적 접근을 중심으로
A Study on Internalized Shame from the Perspective of Pastoral Counseling : Focusing on Therapeutic Approaches
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The purpose of this article is to ascertain some therapeutic approaches for internalized shame in pastoral counseling. The reactions and behaviors associated with internalized shame exercise extensive, profound, and baneful effects on persons and communities: Christians and churches are no exception. Especially, shame arouses pathological problems such as depression, anxiety disorder, eating disorder, suicide, and drug intoxication, and is related with the inducement of defense mechanisms. Nonetheless, shame does not surface apparently, covered with a variety of defense mechanisms. The clarity of the concept on ‘shame’ has been obscured because we are often confused about the difference between shame and guilt thus the phenomenon of shame has not been studied much. Shame has been a peripheral issue for researchers. Internalized shame not only has negative impacts on character development but faith development as well. This article is intended to urge pastors and Christian counselors to become more aware of the dynamics of internalized shame and how this can influence their relationship with clients. In order to find ways to heal internalized shame, this paper investigated the development of shame from perspectives of psychoanalysis, object relations theory, and self-psychology. Based on the traits of shame and its development we can come up with three therapeutic approaches. they are ‘singing sad songs’, ‘re-experiencing Second Adam’, and ‘transmuting in a community.’ First, ‘singing sad songs’ means that what is internalized must be “externalized” in order to be healed. Because the experience of shame is so painful, it is often avoided, denied, or defended against. This is why shame is not easily perceived nor identified. Internalized shame cannot be healed unless it is externalized and shared. Therefore, ‘singing sad songs’ can be an effective tool to expose one’s hidden and inner self to the world and to himself/herself and this process must be the very first therapeutic step. Secondly, ‘re-experiencing the second Adam’ insists clients who suffer from shame-based identity to experience Jesus Christ as the Second Adam. Being directly associated with an internalized bad object, shame needs to be re-experienced by a good object. In shame, a person becomes the object as well as the subject of shame. By re-experiencing the second Adam, he or she can give up his or her insecure crooked false image and restore his or her true image. Lastly, ‘transmuting in a community’ emphasizes the importance of church community which can serve as a transitional space. Church community should mirror adequately a person’s need and fill one’s deficiency through non-judgmental and non-shaming attitudes. Church community can become God’s womb. These approaches can help people suffering from chronic shame to develop upright and healthy relations with themselves, others, and God.
Abstract
The purpose of this article is to ascertain some therapeutic approaches for internalized shame in pastoral counseling. The reactions and behaviors associated with internalized shame exercise extensive, profound, and baneful effects on persons and communities: Christians and churches are no exception. Especially, shame arouses pathological problems such as depression, anxiety disorder, eating disorder, suicide, and drug intoxication, and is related with the inducement of defense mechanisms. Nonetheless, shame does not surface apparently, covered with a variety of defense mechanisms. The clarity of the concept on ‘shame’ has been obscured because we are often confused about the difference between shame and guilt thus the phenomenon of shame has not been studied much. Shame has been a peripheral issue for researchers. Internalized shame not only has negative impacts on character development but faith development as well. This article is intended to urge pastors and Christian counselors to become more aware of the dynamics of internalized shame and how this can influence their relationship with clients. In order to find ways to heal internalized shame, this paper investigated the development of shame from perspectives of psychoanalysis, object relations theory, and self-psychology. Based on the traits of shame and its development we can come up with three therapeutic approaches. they are ‘singing sad songs’, ‘re-experiencing Second Adam’, and ‘transmuting in a community.’ First, ‘singing sad songs’ means that what is internalized must be “externalized” in order to be healed. Because the experience of shame is so painful, it is often avoided, denied, or defended against. This is why shame is not easily perceived nor identified. Internalized shame cannot be healed unless it is externalized and shared. Therefore, ‘singing sad songs’ can be an effective tool to expose one’s hidden and inner self to the world and to himself/herself and this process must be the very first therapeutic step. Secondly, ‘re-experiencing the second Adam’ insists clients who suffer from shame-based identity to experience Jesus Christ as the Second Adam. Being directly associated with an internalized bad object, shame needs to be re-experienced by a good object. In shame, a person becomes the object as well as the subject of shame. By re-experiencing the second Adam, he or she can give up his or her insecure crooked false image and restore his or her true image. Lastly, ‘transmuting in a community’ emphasizes the importance of church community which can serve as a transitional space. Church community should mirror adequately a person’s need and fill one’s deficiency through non-judgmental and non-shaming attitudes. Church community can become God’s womb. These approaches can help people suffering from chronic shame to develop upright and healthy relations with themselves, others, and God.
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