자폐스펙트럼 아동과 미술치료사의 상호주관적 경험에 대한 내러티브 탐구
A Narrative Inquiry into the Intersubjective Experience of an Art Therapist Working with a Child with Autism Spectrum Disorder
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초록
본 연구에서 연구자는 자폐스펙트럼으로 진단받은 한 명의 아동을 미술치료하면서, 자폐상태가 일으키는 정신적 혼란의 의미와 그 혼란이 미세하게나마 정돈될 수 있는 가능성을 탐색하고 싶었다. 따라서 연구문제는 첫째, 자폐 상태와 원인을 재해석하기 위해 미술치료과정에서 내담아동이 보여준 태도를 관찰하고 탐구한다. 둘째, 내담아동에게 반응하면서 일어난 치료자 자신의 내적변화를 관찰하고 탐구한다. 마지막으로 치료자와 내담아동이 서로의 내적세계에서 공명하며 상호작용 할 수 있었던 요인을 탐구한다. 나는 이 연구에서 내담아동과나의 고유한 경험을 담아내기 위해 내러티브 탐구를 선택했다. 연구결과, 내가 경험한 내담아동은 살아남기 위한 극단의 생존기제로서 심리적으로 존재하지 않는 자폐상태를 선택한 것 같았다. 나는 자폐상태로 철수한 내담아동의 초기 유아기 외상과 경험을 재구성하기 위해서 유아적 전이의 대상이 되어야 했으며, 그 과정에서 내담아동의 경험에 닿은 나의 유아기 정서들이 일으키는 신체와 정신의 혼란을 경험했다. 치료자가 먼저 상호주관성을 통해 내담아동에게 다가갔을 때 내담아동도 각각의 주체이면서 또한 서로에게 주체가 되어주는 상호주관성 발달의 가능성을 보이며 성장하기 시작했다.
Abstract
In this study, I provided art therapy to a child client diagnosed as having autism spectrum disorder. I explored the meanings of psychological confusion caused by autism and the possibility of keeping the confusion, even if only to a slight degree, under control. I suggested three points of study. First, I explored the client’s attitude during art therapy to reinterpret the client’s autistic state and its cause. Second, I explored the inner change in myself as I responded to the client. Lastly, I explored the factors that caused resonance in our minds and interaction between us. I used the narrative exploration to describe the unique experience for myself and in the client. The results of this study suggest that the client chose to be in an autistic state, to not be engaged psychologically, as an extreme attempt to survive. I needed to be an object of infanthood transfer in order to reconstruct the early infanthood trauma and experience of the client who had reverted to his autistic state. In the process, I experienced physical and psychological confusion as my infanthood sentiments were connected with the client's experiences. When I approached the child through intersubjectivity, the client started to grow up, experiencing the intersubjectivity through which the client could be an agent to himself and also be a mutual agent.
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