말러의 ‘분리-개별화 과정’으로 본 교회 이탈 현상: 신앙의 건강성을 위한 ‘최적의 거리 두기’의 제안

Abstract

The purpose of this study was to examine the holistic health of churches, pastors and believers using Margaret Mahler's theory of ‘separation-individuation’ as a critical tool. In particular, by analyzing the ‘church exit phenomenon’ from the perspective of separation-individuation, the pastoral counseling implications of the religious separation-individuation process of believers were examined, and the pathology of pastoral anxiety related to this was dealt with. Finally, a pastoral ‘optimal distancing’ plan was proposed to promote religious separation- individuation of believers and enhance their holistic health. The separation-individuation process is a theory of development process in which infants who had been psychologically fused with their mothers get out of symbiotic relationship and acquire self-individuality, independence, and object constancy. This separation-individuation named ‘psychological birth’, is not a psychological process that occurs only in infants. In parallel, it occurs between God and believers or churches/pastors and believers, inexperienced believers grow into mature believers through the process of religious separation-individuation. However, just as the separation anxiety experienced by mothers in the process of separation-individuation of their infants sometimes lead to the pathology of mothers who suppress, deny, or reject their infants’ attempts to independence, the pastoral anxiety caused by the separation attempts of believers toward maturity can also hamper the religious separation-individuation of believers. Specifically, the analysis of previous studies showed that some Korean churches and pastors' anxiety were producing repressive, authoritarian, controlled, and anti-community pastoral methods. In addition, this pathological pastoral anxiety seemed to interfere, reject, and suppress separation-individuation toward the maturity of believers, and acted as a factor that caused them to leave the church. Thus, along with the efforts of pastors to deal with their own anxiety, it is necessary to prepare an optimal distancing plan to promote the maturity of believers and help their separate-individuation. This study proposed several detailed plans for democratic, rational and communicative church operation for the restoration of community and mutual respect between pastors and believers, as well as self-management counseling and supervision methods for dealing with pastors' anxiety, and transition to a new believer management model combined with counseling models.